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Comparative Relation


In kindred, or comparative relations, partners have the same leading function, but opposing creative functions. The common leading function makes establishing a connection and understanding the other person easy, while the different creative functions reflects different ideas about how knowledge and skills should be applied. Spending time together intensifies partners' leading function behavior, which is enjoyable at first, but can lead to exhaustion if goes on for too long. Kindred partners typically find each other engaging company for occasional focused conversations or intense interaction (which may not necessarily appear intense externally, especially for leading Si or Ni types). Partners typically find that their primary goals in life are alike in many respects and respect the other person's basic attitudes, which are quite like their own, even if the details differ.

Informal communication flows easily, but competition for influence may ensue if partners spend too much time in the same group. Partners may have difficulty dividing roles when trying to work together. Neither one is able to be much of an assistant to the other, as there is little if any natural complementarity of behavior. As a result of frustrated "dual-seeking" expectations, partners at work often end up criticizing each other for the very inclinations they share themselves: leading Si types may criticize their kindred partners for laziness, leading Ne types — for taking forever to get back to them about important matters of business, leading Ti types — for being a control freak, or leading Se types — for being on a power trip. This applies equally to identity relations.

Ideological differences based on opposing creative functions can also arise; for instance, an ISTP and INTP may have similar views, but the ISTP might want to "impose his views on others," while the INTP is "unwilling to do anything." Or, an ENTP and ENFP might be interested in the same activity and want to build some kind of community, but the ENTP might want to formally establish an organization or administrative center, while the ENFP insists on keeping the community movement informal. Or, an ESTP might insist on increasing bureaucratic structure in an effort to manage an endeavor, while an ESFP insists on exercising personal influence to get things done. Until one of the approaches wins out, or a higher authority puts each person in his or place, the conflict may seem unresolvable.

In an atmosphere where work and cooperation are not expected, these relations can develop into friendship. However, if forced to work too closely together, these types could end up in a battle of equals. They will find the other to match them point for point. Outsiders will try as they may but will have little effect on the ensuing conflict, since the kindreds have almost no communication difficulties and thus will likely know exactly what the problem is. Kindreds have very little pity for each other in general, but when getting along they can connect, finding fondness through the suggestive function and even help the other out a little using their demonstrative function. However, they eventually tire of the demands made on it if they are not sufficiently polite about it.

Kindred pairs

Descriptions by various authors

Valentina Meged, Anatoly Ovcharov

There relations are good for discussion of common topics of interest, however, they are complicated at closer interpersonal distances. Partners understand each other's motives well as they have similar aims, however, their approaches to dealing with their problems are very different. They are thus inclined to seek advice from each other and look for compromise. If this does not occur, it can inspire mutual distrust. Need for autonomy and freedom from each other can arise. Kindred partners are well aware of each other's shortcomings, however, they often lack tact in judging each other's abilities. They can exert emotional pressure on each other demanding that their partner follows a specific course of action that they see as the only correct course. Actions of kindred partner sometimes seem as if lacking in common sense and predictability. These relations are worsened by the routine. New impressions and experiences improve these relations. Behavior of your kindred partner in contact with other people is usually appealing.

I.D. Vaisband, publications on Socionics

It can feel like there is not enough sincerity in these relations. Partners can perceive one another as egoistical, which in reality isn't always true. In some areas, kindred partners see the world very similarly. These relations can be very productive in work if partners have similar interests. If they have little in common, these relations can be unpleasant, irritating, and abrasive.

O.B. Slinko, "The key to heart - Socionics"

These relations are characterized by commonalities in world view, since kindred partners have same leading function, however their implementing functions are antagonistic to each other. Thus, even though they feel some measure of likeness, they do not understand each other's actions and may perceive them as egoistical. In addition, there can be competition in the areas of leading function. Kindred partners usually acknowledge each other and treat each other by accepted norms conduct, but they are unlikely to show sincere interest in each other's problems. The interest of a kindred partner in yourself seems superficial. Thus, these relations are not distinguished by interpersonal warm.

R.K. Sedih, "Informational psychoanalysis"

Ego - Ego plus Superego. Once again, the more developed the personalities of the partners, the more they have in common regarding their interests and work, the more interesting, comfortable and beneficial these relations can be. In cases where both partners are poorly self-realized and unstable, they will often affect each other's weak spots. However, this rarely leads to very negative consequences. Because their worldviews partially coincide, partners can easily reach a compromise if they strive for it. Light frictions in communication usually do not let kindred partners get too close. Partners usually keep some distance and from this distance they can admire one another and be useful for each other. If they try to compete, this presents an opportunity for development. However, here they run the risk of offending the "child" block in one another, which is not easily forgiven. Making up usually happens quickly, conflicts are kept under control. In these relations the desire to measure another by your own standards usually disappears, and should be avoided in any case.

Laima Stankevichyute "Intertype relations"

When both partners are ethical, they suffer from an excess of passions and emotions. When both partners are logical, their relationship is in constant state of tension, which brings irritation. This is a relationship in which there is lack of sincerity; partners seem selfish to each other.

A.V. Bukalov, G. Boiko, "Why Saddam Hussein made a mistake, or what is Socionics"

These relations are characterized by the fact that partners seem partially similar and in words understand each other very well, like to discuss similar topics and often have many common interests. However, as soon as it comes to practical implementation of their mutual goals and projects, each finds that the other acts in contrary ways, which is both surprising and hurtful. In such situations, each is then inclined to view the other akin to a traitor: "But we have agreed! Now look at what he's doing." How one acts is not how the other acts, but they cannot and do not know how to act otherwise. It happens that a seemingly harmless remark or observation made by one partner deeply hurts another: "Oh, what a beautiful suit" - says ENFP to his ENTP friend, "Did you put it on to impress that girl you mentioned last week?" This makes ENTP feel very awkward because relationships are very delicate subject to him, meanwhile ENFP feels perfectly at ease voicing this subject. At the same time any doubts or criticism of logic in reasoning or behavior by ENTP will sound hurtful to his ENFP kindred partner. If they keep this in mind beforehand, they can avoid many misunderstandings. Due to many similarities, kindred partners often strike up friendships, start dating, form families. With mutual respect people get on well with each other, but conflicts and mutual irritation will arise from time to time in this kind of partnership.

Victor Gulenko "Criteria of reciprocity"

Monotonous interference

Partner seems attractive only from a distance. In close contact, after exchanging information relations begin to feel boring. Tension and irritation build up because of inability to break the monotony of these relations. In these relations, it is also difficult to fully disclose yourself. There is some mutual interference in joint ventures since partners follow different methods of implementation and modes of action. This can lead to disappointments and loss of respect for each other.

Binary signs of intertype relations

Kindred relations tire the partners with sameness and uniformity of temperament and require some distance and constant inflow of new impressions, experiences, acquaintances. There is nothing worse for kindred partners than to get lock up in four walls with no fresh experiences and information. Doors open to the external world, mutual interests in innovations and current events will ensure a more extraverted approach that these relations require.

In kindred relations there is little interest in discussing events that involve only one of the partners. Each other's stories are perceived as boring, and instead their attention turns to the world and people around them. The more diverse, the more interest-inspiring their surrounding environment is, the better the relations will be in this pair. In such case, they can have involving discussions about all that is new and interesting, exciting discoveries, sensations, developments.

Kindred relations are characterized by the fact that the partners have similar aims and goals, but attempt to reach them in contrary ways. Over time, kindred types start to diverge more and more, adopting opposing positions. They are usually well aware of their differences and contradictions, but cannot immediately resolve them. In these relations reciprocity is enhanced if partners share feelings towards someone else, a third person.

While making joint decisions, there will be a measure of strain between them. Periodically, there are minor unmotivated outbreaks of frustration and anger, which are followed by sorting out relations and trying to find the causes of the quarrel. Kindred partners discharge their tensions with these outbreaks and start a new round of communication, making themselves to forget previous differences. In such a pair imposing concrete decisions and actions is not recommended - only general advice concerning the subject mater will be received positively.

Kindred partners seek to hold on to the positions that they have attained. Despite interest in pursuits and initiatives of each other, both keep to their own opinions. While they are similar on the outside, kindred partners are very different on the inside. Despite welcoming refreshing and new outside impressions, each expects the other to return to their usual state of things; transition to another form of relations and new "rules" is painful.

Advice on getting along

It is best to not rationalize these relations such that they can evolve freely without any limitations and constrictions. Do not try to impose your own point of view, rather try to refer to your partner for advice.

Once you have become accustomed to each other, do not change your habits and nature of your relations. Do not experiment and try to unbalance each other. Do not irritate or bore each other other. If irritation arises, temporarily increase the psychological distance.

In kindred relations it is difficult to realize complicated plans. Partners aim to maintain autonomy, and within these conditions they can learn quite a bit from each other. Do not try to control the actions of your partner. Without granting each other a modicum of trust, these relations cannot be stable.

Kindred relations are turned to the world outside them. Thus, try to attend new events and meet new people, and arrive at same conclusions about them.

V.V. Gulenko, A.V. Molodtsev, "Introduction to socionics"

These are relations of distant relatives who talk about formally appropriate and necessary topics, observing the rules of propriety and hospitality, but they do not wish to delve into the details of their relations with each other. In the passing of time, these discussions start to get boring. Impression is formed that your partner is trying to solve problems starting from wrong premises or in wrong order and does not wish to acknowledge your point of view. This is why partners strive to reach a compromise, some mid-point. In company of other people these relations noticeably improve because your partner's contact with other people is usually perceived as appealing and admirable. In this sense kindred partners can learn a few things from one another. Where one can learn to be more measured, the other can learn to be more active. Kindred partners can turn to each other for advice, but then it often happens that the person providing advice starts to use newly obtained information for his own purposes while the other person is left with nothing from this interaction. Same events partners view from different points of view - as if it would benefit the other and harm oneself. Thus partners often seem to each other as egoistical, though they never openly voice this. In family these relations can be more heavy than relations of supervision as they inspire distrust and do not yield a sense of own worth. Methods of accomplishing the same work are also not the same and bring about even more misunderstanding. Their most developed behavioral functions are inverse of each other. Both partners feel that they are on equal footing, especially if both are introverts, so competition in such situations is rare. However, when one presides over the other this can lead to disagreements and conflicts, especially with unfavorable subtypes.

Ekaterina Filatova "Art of understanding yourself and others"

Both partners perceive the world as the same due to having base function as common. In cases where it comes to actual cooperation, these relations can seem not as fruitful. If partners have common interests, then they will take on the care for each other's weakest functions.

Eugene Gorenko, Vladimir Tolstikov, "Nature of self"

Partners in may ways resemble each other. If directed towards collaborative aims they will be tactful and polite with each other. However, due to internal differences, these types will look at the world in very different manners, approach same events from different points of view, in this case hurting each other's weak functions. Here everything depends on distance, on sense of tact, on the desire of both partners to maintain positive relations. Also it is very important that the partner's interest coincide.

Sergei Ganin

Homoverted - Symmetrical - Rhythmical

These are relations of deceptive similarity. Comparative partners talk about similar things, have similar interests, obey the norms of politeness and hospitality towards each other but they never really show an interest in each others problems. After a while these relations can become boring and stagnant. When comparative partners are on the same level in a hierarchy, they can coexist quite peacefully. Once one partner becomes superior to the other, they may have serious disagreements and conflicts. Comparative partners look at the same questions from very different angles. One partner feels as if the other is in their opinion trying to solve the same problem in an impractical manner. Moreover, partners are not happy to acknowledge each other's different point of view. This may cause great misunderstandings between partners, especially when applied to methods of working and as a result partners usually try to compromise.

When in company, Comparative relations can improve a little. The reason for this is that the behavior of one partner in respect to other people usually appears to the other partner as interesting and worthwhile. Moreover, partners have a good chance to learn from each other how to better improve their social interactions.

When Comparative partners ask each other for advice, the adviser often finds their own advice quite useful for themselves. As a result the person who asked for advice usually leaves with nothing. Comparative partners may view each other as selfish and egoistic, however they do not try to clarify this point to each other. In a family environment these relations are very heavy, as they can create a mistrust between partners and do not allow them to feel their own significance.

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