ESFP is very persistent in achieving what he desires. In this, he sometimes considers that any means are good for achieving his goals. He finds it difficult to keep track of established norms. Because of this, he can easily spring to action without thinking through the consequences. If he doesn't have a good friend-critic near by, he may get into very difficult situations. He needs a wise and perceptive partner who could halt him and dissuade him from risky and imprudent activities.
ESFP finds it difficult to assess the actual prospects and estimate his own abilities realistically. He usually overestimates what he is capable of, and risks gaining a reputation of a person who is unreliable and irresponsible. INTJ is cautious and prudent personality and can dissuade ESFP from taking pointless action.
In order to successfully fulfill his practical objectives, ESFP needs to make connections that would be useful. He's a good tactician and organizer, diplomatic, able to persuade people and build agreements with them. He willingly accepts the responsibility for external relations in this dyad. With a more enterprising partner, this could lead to power struggles and conflicts in the relationship. Therefore, he is better complimented by a more inert and less sociable person, with whom his methods and means of achieving his goals will not overlap.
Inexhaustible zeal and energy of the ESFP, in combination with his inability to distinguish the useful from the useless, lead him to waste his time and efforts on unnecessary, fruitless activity and contacts. Here, his partner can help him, as he can discern which activities bring benefit and which are pointless. Dissuading ESFP from taking on unnecessary tasks, which otherwise would lead to his exhaustion and disappointment, is not easy. One must have a large reserve of logical arguments and information, which is characteristic of INTJ. Removed reasoning, based on own intuition or experiences of others, will not be convincing for ESFP.
INTJ clearly sees realistic and not-so-distant prospects and can predict the dynamics of events. He is able to distract, soothe, remove unnecessary stress and activity. His developed extroverted logic and ability to base his arguments on effective foundation allow him to efficiently distribute his efforts, time, and resources to achieve his goals. He is well capable of organizing the labor process, preparing everything in advance to obtain the maximum results with the minimum expended time and energy.
It is difficult for INTJ to practically implement his plans. He lacks the energy, expediency, optimism, and ability to maneuver flexibly in a changing situation. He also complicates his relations due to insufficient diplomacy in conversation and negotiations. In this dual pair, INTJ helps to set workable, long-term goals and orients his energetic dual in the right direction.
INTJ is often indecisive, conservative and stubborn. To persuade him to take on a new project is not within everyone's abilities. His desire to stabilize everything and to change nothing often leads to stagnation in his life, and this in turn causes lethargy, loss of interest in everything, negativity and bitterness, and a proclivity for hypochondria.
For this reason, he needs a cheerful, energetic and active dual, who will gently but consistently push the INTJ towards dynamic changes in his life, skillfully manage his moods and emotions, polish and improve his rapport with others. ESFP will expand the circle of contacts of his dual, and his numerous suggestions and proposals will provide his partner with constant food for thought, analysis and reflection. Next to his dual INTJ feels secure, loved, needed, and never bored.
Terms of dualization
- The main impetus of this dyad is welfare. Pragmatism is expressed quite clearly in both of these types. INTJ should be appreciative of the energy, flexibility and entrepreneurial spirit of his partner. He should not get carried away with excessive criticism of flaws and shortcomings of ESFP and try to relay his observations in an inoffensive manner.
- ESFP should not criticize such qualities of his dual as difficulty in dealing with people, reserve, caution, pessimism, lack of initiative, vulnerable self-esteem, lack of flexibility and diplomacy.
- ESFP can expend energy on unnecessary intrigues, or drive himself to exhaustion with fruitless activity. Therefore, he must listen to cautioning and decelerating advice of his dual. In turn, INTJ, who is able to work patiently and carefully, with information and paperwork, with figures and facts, scrupulously and carefully working out all the details, and then bringing everything to its logical conclusion, should not require these qualities from his dual. It is best to take these problems onto your shoulders, for the sake of your impatient and hyperactive dual.
- In terms of sexual relations, the initiator, of course, is the ESFP. After all, he is a Sensing type (in tune with the physical) and an Ethical type (sure of his feelings for another person). As an extrovert, he is impulsive and enterprising in striking up relations, sincere and decisive, and easily expresses his feelings. Besides this, ESFP by his nature is a conqueror. Easy conquests for him are of no interest. His love is not something permanent, given once and for all. It must be won anew every day. Only such a mysteriously cold and ambivalent, and yet intelligent and interesting partner as INTJ can permanently keep his attention.
The features of authoritarianism, as well as a tendency for "infliction and endurance" are less pronounced in strong-willed representatives of third quadra than of the second. And yet, they still exist. Without an element of "play-fighting" their emotional life seems to them colorless and bland.
For example, INTJ most of all hates calamities and extremes in relationships. He usually pacifies emotional outbursts of dual, but with his internal contradictions and caprices he at the same time provokes his dual to angry outbursts. However, ESFP does not allow for prolonged break-ups. Emotionally, the relationship of these duals has a pulsating character: first moving away, then coming closer, quarreling and reconciling – thus they maintain the freshness and novelty of their emotional impressions and fuel continuous interest in one another. Such an alliance will never feel tedious and stagnant for both, because they don't feel bored together and each feels indispensable to the other.
Sometimes the temperamental ESFP grows tired of the coldness and seriousness of his dual. In such cases, he takes a "break on the side", but usually this doesn't last long. INTJ is a reliable partner who can understand and forgive, but under one condition: he must see sincere repentance – and who better than FR(SEE) can demonstrate this? Thus, INTJ often manages to stabilize his relations with the easily distracted and impermanent in his feelings ESFP.
Union of ESFP and INTJ can be lasting, and ESFP can, in the end, emotionally stir and inspire his dual and ignite love in him. And, the more these feelings find resonance, the more turbulent their relationship becomes: ESFP starts to feel bored and may become involved with something else on the side, and INTJ starts to grumble and sulk, distance and quarrel over trifles. After this, there should be renewal of feelings, their strengthening. The only thing that is not advised to these duals – a calm and restful state. Even INTJ, if he reaches this state, can unexpectedly feel boredom and long for a different partner and new impressions.